Being a UST student

To those who know me well, I've had a my fair share of mishaps, lost phones, ugh moments when I just forget something and lose it in the process (to be honest, most of the somethings I forget are either not mine, or are very expensive), and in my inner circle of friends I rant in their top 3 of people who keep on losing their phones, I either take the first place or the second.

But what does this brief Vincent-history got to do with this post? Well, majority of those "accidents" happened while I was on a jeepney. Except the first cp I lost, majority of my missing cp stories are all centered on the jeep.

Nakakatawa man isipin pero sa kabata-batang edad kong ito napaka makalimutin ko na...

An example of one of the many stupid things that happened before was when I lost a semi-replaced cp from when I was going home from Araneta after I watched an ADMU-DLSU UAAP basketball match.

It happened when I was at Buendia on the long stretch of road jeeps have to take to get over the other side. I was actually sleeping on the jeep, clutching the borrowed cp because I was texting my then gf, in hopes to keep me awake so that I won't let the cp fall off my hand again. Yep, me dozing off was not part of the plan, and instead of being of help, my plan backfired. Why?

1. Nakatulog ako - so apparently, the hoping to stay awake long enough plan goes down the drain.

2. I was cluthing the cp on my hand while I was still asleep - do I need to elaborate this more?

3. Did I say I was at the end part of the jeep? - this would be important as the story progresses.

So anyway, while the jeep was on its merry way, my phone slipped from my hand, with me still groggy I just saw it bounce of the jeep's floor (remember that I was at the end part of the jeep?) and fell into the dark streets of Buendia. All I could do was stare blankly at the spot where my cp bounced off and wonder why the hell did it happen?

But that's not all, when I got near my stop, I immediately went home, and borrowed my father's cp without telling him why. I changed clothes and set out on finding my missing cp, thankfully I memorized my gf's number that time and I told her what happened. Of course she was concerned and I asked her to try calling the phone, to which she replied that it was still ringing.

I told her my plan, as I changed, though she was hesitant about it I still pushed on with the plan. I went out of our gate, and set out on finding on foot my missing CP, with her on the line, trying to contact it, I was walking on along libertad-taft hoping to get a glimpse of my missing phone.

Sadly, I never found my cp... I even circled Buendia and was planning to continue on with the search but my gf decided that I should go home, because it was alrady past midnight.

The phone that I lost then also had a story to tell, but maybe I'll leave it later cause it's another jeepney story.

-Vincent Haoson

Die Hard Jeep

School was out then, and I was still in second year high school, life was quite peaceful. Coming out from school I had to get on two jeep rides to get home, one from Visayas ave. (just outside our school gate) going towards Tandang Sora and another ride from there going inside our village (which was quite big so a specific jeepney route was made).

4pm that day, everything was bathed in yellow from the color of the sun getting ready to call it a day as well. Together with one of my classmate, we took our usual jeepney ride along Visayas Ave. There was only one passenger in the jeep, a middle aged woman.

A huge blue-colored truck which looked like those that collect garbage (but it was carrying sacks of dirt at that time) passed by the jeep we were riding in blinding speed. The jeepney driver started uttering bad words and he seemed upset by the speeding truck. We could feel the driver starting to pick up speed. He was trying to catch up to the truck!

The middle aged woman sitting near the jeep entry was startled. She grabbed the iron bars above and beside her and started yelling "para!! para 'ma!!!"! at the driver who in turn, ignored her plea. My classmate and I also started clinging to the iron bars above us as we know there was no stopping the driver even if we yelled at him at point blank range, and heck we were suppose to get off at the end of the route anyway, but what could the driver be thinking! He was now probably nearing 80km/hr and was damn fast for a jeep traveling its normal route.

We could see the blue truck from afar already at the end of the route at Tandang Sora. It has gone to a halt and several jeepneys were positioned perpendicular to the street. They were blocking the trucks way. Traffic wasn't building up yet though.

The middle aged woman sa yelling and holding on to dear life, hysterical. Well it must be heart-stopping for her, being young at that time, my classmate and I felt…it was rather…exciting.
The jeep made a full stop suddenly nearing the truck, thank goodness for those leather shoes and iron bars, kept us from flying off to the front seats of the jeep. The woman jumped right off, still with some inertia left from the sudden stop, she fell to the ground on her knees. Although hurt, she ran away as quickly as she could. My classmate and I got off moments later.

The other jeepney drivers at the terminal started getting off their jeepneys. Holding on to large pipes, and other blunt weapons alike they ran towards the blue truck and started smashing its windows, reducing them to pulp!! The three passengers of the truck didn't go down, and the drivers were throwing huge rocks at them as soon as the windshield was broken.

We watched from afar, it was like a huge action movie. It turned out that the jeepney driver did recognize the blue truck and seem to have caused his co-drivers some trouble before.

The police arrived but the mess just started getting worse. I wasn't able to get home with that kind of situation on the street. So I opted to stay at my classmate's house for the meantime which was just a few minutes away.

I've never experienced such action in a single afternoon; I could've been convinced it was a scene in a movie if I saw it on film!

-Nikolai "Chiffon" Alexis

Punas Sapatos Boys: Proper Ettiquette On Telling Them To Fuck Off...

Hi. I'm Jed Zulaybar. I'm a student at De La Salle University, and I've ridden Jeepneys since Grade 5. I didn't have much of a problem with these Punas Sapatos Boys, which I'll now call PSBs, before but ever since Taft became a street I needed to cross, I've been pestered by these vagrants for whatever reason.

It's odd because, well, I don't really dress that well. I take as little time possible to get ready for school, and I really look messy. I have shoulder-length hair which is always messy because I hate combing. I wear a cap to keep my hair in place because it sometimes covers my face. I always wear maong/camo shorts which only cover the upper lower portion of my body. By Upper Lower portion I mean the upper portion...of the...lower portion... You get it, right? Anyway, these shorts show off my manly hairy legs. My feet sport my slippers, which is usually the worn out paint covered ones I've been using for god knows how long, and my nails are damn dirty because I rarely cut them. I'm also thin as hell, even thinner than my sisters(which they hate). And for the shirts I wear, It's usually the first thing I grab from my wardrobe.

To summarize the above paragraph: I look like a patay gutom hobo whom you'd never expect to be a La Salle student. Here's the thing though: I still get pestered by these PSBs no matter what I look like. Even when I'm wearing slippers, they still use their dirty rags and "clean" my feet. By "clean", I meant befoul. A rare specie of PSBs sport a WET rag and believe me, wet rags do wonders on your feet. If you think cringinging to the thought of a wet dirty rag befouling your toes are wonderful.

With all the dastardly germs they're probably infecting my feet with, they still expect to be paid. After they crawl all the way to the front, soiling every shoe they can find, they stand up and look at the passengers with puppy dog eyes and a raised hand expecting to be paid for the deed. Some of them even speak up and then you'll feel the urge to pay and if you don't, you'll look like a total asshole.

There are different kinds of PSB's too. Although, the other kinds don't really Punas Sapatos. But they have basically the same thing in mind: Offer a service you don't really need. Do the service even if you didn't agree to it. And expect to be paid. The other types of PSB's include: Christmas Caroler Boy who mysteriously appears only in the Christmas Season. I don't know about you people, but I prefer my Christmas Carols in the middle of April, thankyouverymuch. CCB appears in the jeepney, sits on his throne(the trashcan), and with a musical instrument of choice(usually a flute or the Nido can with plastic on top which you hit with a stick), and sings a Christmas Song. There is also the Papel Boys. PB's appear in your Jeepney, give you scraps of paper with their plead of money written on the said piece of paper. These guys are way tougher to handle than regular PSBs but more fun. Tougher because it's tough to not give them anything when you return the paper. Fun because the things written on the paper are usually funny as shit. Here's one that a friend of mine told me:

"Ate, Koya, Penge po pera pambili ng panti at bago selpon" All written in crayons to make it cute and colorful. No, I didn't make that up(If anything, its the guy who told me that would have made that up if he did), and the PSB was male.

Encountering a PSB is a lose-lose situation. No matter what happens, you still lose even if you didn't give him some change. So with all the PSBs I've encountered, I have made some handy tips to minimize if not eliminate the loss.

1.) Rationalize the Situation. You didn't ask for the service, therefore you are in no way indebted to their service. Of course, they're supposed to make you feel that way. Here's what I do. They say the best things in life are free. Therefore, to make the most of the experience, then THINK it's free. Therefore, that's one of the best things in life right there. Be Original with your thoughts! Here's what my thoughts are: "Awww~! Aren't they nice, crawling rusty jeepney surfaces just to make me feel like a king. And they're doing it out of Love~ How I wish all streetchildren were like this." and if I'm feeling crafty it goes something like "Dear God, the poor are at it again! They are public utility vehicles all around the world to earn money so that they can hatch their plan to rule the world! Hah! I'm on to you, you 5 year old conspirator! I know your evil plans! You won't get anything from me!". It's thoughts like that that give a smile to my face while I get my feet 'cleaned' and not pay them.

2.) Don't make eye contact. The eyes are the windows to the soul. And what's behind the soul of a PSB? Well... There's uhh. Suffering, Poverty, Hunger....basically the things that would make you think they need help. You need to avoid looking into their dark damaged souls because once you do you just want to color up their worlds by giving them your hard earned change. And if you've read this far, you probably don't want that. Here are some things you could do to avoid this:

a) Wear a cap. Not only do caps make you look badass, you can avoid eye contact too! So there, win-win! You probably looked badass denying their pleas for some money too, which is awesome.

b) Look at the other beautiful scenery you can find in Jeepneys. Look around, there are loads actually. Maybe its the misspelled "Pull String to Stuff" sign, or the hairy armpit of your jeepney driver. There are lots of things in there that can claim your attention wtihin the minute of the ordeal. My personal favorite is staring at the rosary so I could look into the eyes of God and not help my neighbors.

c) Stare back at him. Now, I know I just told you to avoid eye contact, but hear me out here. If you look at him eye to eye, you can engage him in a battle of perseverance and probably scare the crap out of him and look badass while doing it(if you wear a cap). You persevere not to pay him, he perseveres for your money. It's a one-on-one, eye-to-eye, adult-versus-5yearoldkid. You'll probably win and sometimes scare him off. And if you do scare the crap out of him, then you just saved the other passengers from having to pay him. You're a Hero! However, I do not recommend this if you have: a heart. Because you'll probably lose you wuss.

3.) Don't speak to them. PSBs are usually children(..and if they're not, well you probably would want to hold your cellphones and wallets tight). Children have a very inquisitive nature which makes them really, really....annoying. Of course, for PSBs their inquisitions usually come in the form of something like "May piso ka?" or "Kahit ano?" or "Nyek, Benchingko lang?" which have to be some of the more annoying questions you have to face in a Jeepney. Of course it is inevitable at times to to avoid this:

a) Don't sit in front(with the obvious exception of the seats beside the driver). The kids usually annoy the people upfront because of the universal canon: Cool kids sit at the back. Cool kids don't like to pay, therefore they turn to the people in front. However, at the same time avoid the back. Why? Because the PSB's also tend to annoy the people at the back as a last ditch effort to get some money. Sit in the middle and let the other passengers do the talking(and paying).

b) Wear a cap. Who'd want to talk to a badass with a cap? Hey now that I think of it. Maybe this is why I don't have much friends......Bah, who cares?

c) Trash talk. Again, with the obvious contradictions. But think about it, if you can't trash talk a 5 year old kid into submission, then you're probably better off giving him some money. If you want, you can also use your allies. The younger passengers and the jeepney drivers hate PSB's as much as you do. Don't expect much from people above 40 though. But everyone else should help you fight off these 5 year olds. Why, one flash of the driver's hairy armpit should be enough for them to shit their pants.

And last but not the least:

4.) Don't give them ANYTHING. I wouldn't give them my time. I know it sounds evil, but hey think about it. If you give them their money, what makes you think they would use it to make their lives better? They'd probably do poor stuff like....buy rugby or bet on horse races and the lotto or give the money to the guy in the syndicate because we all know syndicates love to beat up streetchildren. If we stop giving them money, then they'd stop begging for it and start working for it. Give them 2 pesos and in the end, you just further worsened the economy because that's 2 Pesos unaccounted for. Then you blame the government for the bad economy. How dare you?

-Jed Zulaybar

Buterfloo Effect

Grabe ang aking na-experience kagabi. So may hangover pa ako at super wasak pa kahit na may duty ako ng 10pm-6am. 6:30 am na kasi kami naka-uwi after gumimik tapos hindi pa ako nakatulog nang maayos. Nung gabi na, 8pm ako dapat aalis para di ako ma-late sabay biglang ulan nang malakas tapos grabe nga ung kidlat.

Nung pag-baba ko sa Zapote, super baha na kulay black and amoy poopoo. Tumapak ako sa kaisa-isang elevated na "island" na may drainage na ipis ang lumalabas instead of kanal water. KADIRI! Kaya ayun! Umiiwas ako sa sangkatutak na ipis na lumilipad, gumagapang at kumakapit sa unwary victims at sa water na yuckness talaga. Buti na lang may jeep na papuntang Imus na nakatigil lang kaya umusog lang sya ng onti para wala sya sa baha tapos pina-sakay nya ako. E di solb na. No more ipis and flood.

Habang umaandar, medyo bumagal nang bahagya sa isang portion malapit sa isang palengke. Biglang umalingasaw ang napaka-sangsang na amoy ng mas matindi pang baha. This time nag-sanib pwersa na ang amoy ng kataehan at basura. So, na-yuckness talaga ako. Ung bata pa sa harap ko enjoy ever sa pag-sabi ng "Ambahu! Ambahu!" habang naka-nganga. Nalanghap na nya ang ka-sukang yuckness ng hangin. Tawa na lang ako habang naka-takip ng panyo na nilagyan ko ng duct tape across my face para di maalis.

At dahil nga di na ako maka-recover kakatawa dahil dun sa batang na-mention ko, habang nagtititili sya ng "Ambahu!" may sumakay na teenage cute straight gay guy. Ay sya! Naka-XXXXXS na shirt, pekpek shorts at shoulder bag! Tapos ang mas kapansin-pansin ay ang kanyang headgear. Mas malaki pa sa libro ko ung butterfly nyang kulay yellowgreen na naka-ipit sa headband nya of the same color. Na-windang ako! Naisip ko "Oh gosh! May sayaw ba itech?"

Habang yumuyugyog ang jeep at nag-rereview ako, sumasabay naman ang pag-pagaspas ng kanyang paru-parong ayaw tantanan ang face ko. Inalis nya ang kanyang matching butterfly dahil sinabi nung katabi kong hotness na "Iho. baka mamatay ang butterloo mo." Pero ayaw talaga paawat ni kuya at ikinabit uli ang kanyang accessory sa ulo! Suskupo! Na-sandwhich ako ng dalawa na nag-tititigan at tumatawa kada kumpas ng butterfly! Ang mga kasakay ko sa jeep ay nakitawa na din.

Ako naman ay nakatakip ang ilong dahil ang bata ay sumisigaw pa rin ng "Ambahu!" at masangsang pa rin ang kapaligiran. Idagdag na rin sa kadahilanan ang fact na gusto ko nang tumawa ng sobrang lakas sa diri. Yuckness talaga! Nilanghap nila ang baho ng masamang weather!

Bingi pa si mamang driver. Kailangan mong mag-para ng paulit-ulit hangang sa magmistulan kang si Parasect kakasabi ng PARA! PARA! PARA! Putangina talaga!

Buti nung pababa na ako, tumigil sya kasi may sasakay. Ay sus! lumundag ako pababa ng jeep. Sumabit ba ung libro ko sa paru-paro ni kuya! naku naman talaga!

-Jake Ponce

Welcome to Jeepney Chronicles!

Hello guys! Thank you for visiting my blog! I know it's kind of late of me to say hi and all especially now that I have posted 4 stories, but it's all part of my strategy (naks!) and siyempre I like you people to visit my blog in a daily basis.

Like I said in the about me, page of the blog, I am asking you guys to please contribute, share and submit your jeepney experience. That's the whole point of the blog anyway!

I do hope I could get to hear from you guys, and I do hope you share to your friends and loved ones this little blog that I have in the net!

Yun lang naman po and happy reading!


-Vincent Haoson

The Missing Change

Ok. Let’s start things of with an introduction. My name is Sauriel and I’m a drug Addict. Naah. Just kidding.

My story happened when I was going to Vincent's houseparty. It ain’t much of a story but heck, this would be good for a start. It was a hot sunshine-y afternoon and I was boarding a jeepney routed “Pasig – Quiapo”, on the way to Shangri-La at Crossing. I was kinda getting late for the meet-up time.

Wait. Let’s backtrack for a moment to the time I was waiting for that peculiar jeepney. I was waiting for the jeeps at Stop and Shop, Sta. Mesa. The afternoon was getting hot by the minute, I was pretty annoyed that I can’t even see one jeepney with “Pasig” as signboard. I lit up a cigarette while listening to my walkman phone.

After a while I finally saw one I can board. I threw the half-consumed cancer stick and waved to the jeep. Unfortunately, the jeep was jam-packed with passengers and it careened past our isle. I was a bit disappointed that I actually threw my cigarette that I looked back to the ground, and I saw some guy in tattered clothes, dirty feet, messy hair, you name it. He was picking up my cig (which was still lit at the ground) by his right hand. It was like, he picks it up with index and opposing thumb, then it drops. Picks it up, then it drops. It went for 3-4 tries, before he used his left hand and by-golly ! He picked it up, woo-hooo.

Alright, enough with the sidetracking. So I boarded a jeep after that incident above. Earphones still slapped inside both of my ears. It would be a fact that I don’t put my money in a wallet, unless the value would be Php 100 or so. I fiddled with my right pocket for paper money and paid my fair of Php 10 pesos to Crossing. I was really sure I gave 50 pesos to the driver. The jeep was nearing Kalentong and I got my change of 10 pesos, at least 30 pesos short of what my change should be. Meanwhile a guy in uniform gave the same amount of 50 pesos and he got his change.

I gave effort to a deep thought. Maybe I bought the half-pack of cigarette for 50 pesos by mistake, and I actually handed a 20 peso bill to the driver without me knowing. I was busy soundtripping that I may have not notice. Still, I consulted the driver and asked if I gave him a 50 peso bill. He got a bit angry, which was unnecessary. He became confused since two passengers (me and the guy in uniform) claimed we both gave 50 pesos, but the driver was pinning me down saying I only gave 20 pesos.

A middle-aged woman then gave intrusion to our little debate, saying she remembered handing out two 50 peso bills. The driver blurted out to the woman, saying “Walang kasing mangengeelam sa usapan” or something like that. Of course, the woman retaliated and said he should check again. Sure enough, I think the driver saw a 50 peso bill right in the 20 peso container he has. He came into a hush and handed me my 30 peso additional change. Almost all the passengers looked at me strangely, perhaps they didn’t expect an afternoon debate like that, let alone in a jeepney. I just slapped back my earphones and listened the whole journey to alleviate myself for what had happened.

-Sauriel

A pickpocket outsmarted me!

This happened when I was still in college. It happened one late hot afternoon when I rode a jeep going home from school to my apartment. The jeep route that I was usually taking is from Estrada st. (near Taft ave.) going to Paco palengke, which will pass by Quirino ave. (my drop off point). I thought my friend, who happens to share the same apartment with me, will go home with me but apparently she had to run some errands in school.

On the jeep, I pulled my cellphone from my bag and began texting her. I was very carefree at that time not minding how dangerous it was, showing off my cellphone to everybody in the jeep. Some of these people were wearing filthy sandos and shorts, their skins were chocolate brown, and some of them really smelled so awful! In short, they were the typical jeepney riders.

When the jeep turned left, I noticed a big dark guy - wearing white polo shirt and jeans - got inside the jeep. Minutes later, I saw him staring at me and then at my cellphone. At first, I just ignored him because I thought he was just fascinated with me.

And then when the passenger on my left got off from the jeep, this big dark guy just sat beside me where the passenger who just got off was sitting seconds ago. I began to be bothered with what was going on because there was still a big space on the other side of the jeep where he was originally sitting, while on our side, there was not enough space for sitting.

I tried not to worry. Instead, I pulled again my cellphone to reply to my friend's text message and then I put it back in my bag. Moments later, the big dark guy dropped off so quickly and I saw him running as he stepped onto the ground. And then I thought of my cellphone. I saw the zipper of my bag half open and my heart stopped. I searched for my cellphone, even in the bag's side pockets but my cellphone was nowhere to be found! I suddenly felt my blood rushing to my brain! Quite obviously, that stupid bastard stole my cellphone! I never thought that the reason he was staring at me is because he was observing me. And I never thought that the reason he moved beside me is that it was his strategy. Suddenly, I remembered that that cellphone was my parent’s gift. I really felt so stupid about what happened even until now.

After few days, I chatted with our neighbor and she said that her phone was just stolen a week ago. When she was describing to me the pickpocket, it happened to be the same person who stole my phone. Our neighbor said that around our vicinity, there are many pock pockets, burglars and muggers. There had been many police reports regarding this matter but it seemed that they can not take some action and they can not reinforce safety. Well I guess the only safety measure that I could do is to not show-off my cellphone in any public vehicle OR not stay around that vicinity again.

-Jen Espinosa

After Poldy Class

It was Friday night, and I'm on my way home after our poldy class. The whole trip home was running smoothly, Quiapo is unbelievably traffic congestion-free! (Well go figure, its like 15 minutes past 9 o'clock in the evening so the traffic's supposed to be light) I was kind of happy and thankful because the week's about to end and I'm looking forward for the rest sunday's going to give me when, I realized we were slowing down, and yes you got it... traffic

I didn't mind much though, I wasn't in that much of a hurry to go home. Bible Study's almost done so I can't catch up and I wasn't going to meet anyone. I just kept to my seat, and observing people's idiosyncrasies.

I was at the intersection of Taft and Pedro Gil that time, the road near Robinson's Place Ermita.

My trip was delayed for about 10 minutes or so when we were on our way again. I didn't mind the delay that much but after we passed the intersection and saw the reason for the congestion, that I laughed at myself.

But before that, a little segue if you won't mind :D

People who have cars or who drive know that it's stupid to stay behind a jeepney especially if they're near a loading area, especially if it's near a mall or waiting shed. Why? Because the drivers would wait for passengers at that area not minding the cars behind them.

Well, the reason for this one WAS some kind of like that... As we passed the gas station near at the Pedro Gil-Taft intersection I saw the jeep that was the primary cause of the build-up. The jeep's a 12-seater, it was not fully painted yet it had the shiny silver finish that mostly belong to the newly bought or made jeeps and it only had 3 passengers . It was almost crawling because I saw the driver staring at his rear-view mirror as if he was waiting for passengers to board...

He wasn't....

I saw what he really was 'intently' viewing at the back. There was a couple behind but I didn't see them clearly, the woman was wearing a white uniform, I think she was a nursing somewhere near the place, while the guy wore civies, I think he is also a student because he didn't look that much old, I think he was at his early twenties.

This supposed couple, who has the drivers FULL attention, was busily smooching...

I shook my head, couldn't believe that THIS was the reason why we were delayed. A couple who couldn't keep their hands of each other long enough to get a room and a driver who can't keep his eyes off the rear-view mirror to notice the people who were waiting BEHIND him.

Now that's the power of hormones people!!!!!!!

Anyway, I reached home with no further incidents(thankfully)...


-Vincent Haoson

My lesbian jeepney trip

There was this lesbian couple in the jeep in was riding on, I just minded my own business because I was kind of dozing on and off during the ride. Whenever I would wake up from my nap I would see the two just talking and teasing each other... It was when the jeep was nearing my stop when things went from tease to shall I say a little action.

It happened at Buendia, just after the turn from the corner of Taft. I just woke from my daze with my left arm clinging on to the railings and was partly covering my sight of the two (btw they were seated directly in front of me), the vision was blocked at the point where I was only seeing their bodies and the neck of the one of the women who was wearing a red t-shirt or blouse.

The two were teasing each other as usual, the butch was wearing a white polo of some school, he was teasing the femme verbally (I wasn't able to hear the butch because I was that sleepy, as if I would willingly listen to the exchange). My head was kind of heavy that time, because I was on my way home from school.

For a while my head slipped from my arms and the couple was hidden from my sight for a while, when I shifted my head back into my clinging arm, I saw that the two changed their sitting position, they were now close enough to actually kiss.

Then there was silence... the couple suddenly stopped talking out loud...
My head slipped again blocking my sight of the two.

I felt that I was nearing my stop so I opened my eyes to see where I was, it was then that I saw the two were french kissing in front of me. I didn't really care with what was happening, so I was going to shift my eyes elsewhere when I saw the femme, staring at me while they were busy.

She gave me a mocking look, like "wala kang ganito no? mamatay ka sa inggit!" look. I just replied with a stare.

They were still kissing when I went down from the jeep.

The funny thing was when I was nearing our gate I saw another lesbian couple again walking past me.


-Vincent Haoson